He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
