You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
