I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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