So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
