she looked like the before picture.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
