My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
