I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
