you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
