What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So squirting runs in the family.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
