Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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