i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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