Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
