bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no you cant smoke seaweed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
