Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
