Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
