Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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