I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
