I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
