My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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