I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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