i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
