Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
