what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
