I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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