READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
