ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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