Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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