To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
