he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
