Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
