lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
