i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
