I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
