The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
