If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
