P.S. I can't hear my feet
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
