im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
