the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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