Well apparently he's into motor boating.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
