you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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