I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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