Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
