The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
