Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
