I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
