just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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