I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
