I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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