If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
