I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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