Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
