you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
